40 Days Towards Discovering My Purpose--Day 5

I am thankful this morning for God’s gift of life and his continual care for me. I thank him for all the marvelous blessings in my life. Although not everything in my life may be where I believe it should be at this moment, I know God does have a plan for me and he wants to give me his very best because his plans for me are plans for good, to give me his very best.

Chapter 5 begins by saying that “the way you see your life shapes your life….and determines your destiny.” If this is really truth, then Lord please help me to change my thinking and begin to see my life the way you see it. It is funny how our thinking can determine the outcome of so many things in life. Truly, Jesus meant what he spoke when he said, “as a man thinks, so is he”

Point to Ponder: “Life is a test and a trust”—Yes, Lord truly all of life is a test. Help me to please pay attention and pass what you present to me.

Verse to Remember: “Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won’t be faithful in large ones.”….Luke 16:10—Seeking your face daily, help me oh Lord to faithful in even this matter.

Question to Consider: “What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?—The life change of no longer having a place of my own to live and worried about where I would lay my head, when God had a plan all along.

God I thank you for entrusting me to be a mother and grandmother, because my life has such an awesome influence on these individuals. Help me to always display, love and humility so that they may know that God is love unconditional.

40 Days Towards Discovering My Purpose--Day 4

While reading a chapter this morning from "The Purpose Driven Life" a song was playing on the radio that contained the lyrics "just accept what God allows, and don't question the rest". How many times have I questioned God daily about things in my life because I just cannot understand nor see what He has in store for me. I can hear God's voice speaking to me that if I flow with his plan for my life he will lead me to good things in a peaceful way.

The chapter goes on to say, "The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears" .... Mark Warren (The Purpose Driven Life) .... What an awesome statement! How true it is that an intimate relationship with God fulfills all the emptiness within one's soul. However, grasping such truth and actually living it seems to be my challenge. I read the words, and I hear the meaning in my mind but digesting and actively living this truth seems to escape me.

Point to Ponder: "There is more to life than just here and now."-God open my eyes that I may see the truth about my life and accept your plan for it.

Verse to Remember: "This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever." ... .1 John 2:17-Lord help me to live doing your will.

Question to Consider: "Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?-Lord help me to STOP asking WHY and get busy living my life more in accordance with your word. Help me to make my focus to live everyday as though it were my last before meeting you, oh King of Glory.

40 Days Towards Discovering My Purpose--Day 3

I must admit making a blog entry daily is a bit challenging for me at times. Especially since I can be moody at times, not always wanting to do what I promise myself I‘ll do. Nonetheless, I awakened this morning with a desire to write and I pray for strength to stay focused on what my inner spirit is telling me I need.

In my reading of the book “The Purpose Driven Life” this morning a paragraph from the book resonated within my soul…”Without a clear purpose, you will keep changing directions, jobs, relationships, churches, or other externals—hoping each change will settle the confusion or fill the emptiness in your heart. You think, Maybe this time it will be different, but it doesn’t solve your real problem—a lack of focus and purpose.” Oh my God, how true this statement is for me. This is exactly where I am right now in my life…without a lack of focus and purpose. How my soul longs to discover my purpose so that I might finally fill the emptiness within my soul. According to the author, Mark Warren, my purpose is …”You were put here to prepare for eternity”. God show me how to prepare for that which you created me.

Point to Ponder: “Living on purpose is the path to peace”—Lord help me to listen diligently to your voice so that I may understand my purpose and live each day in peace.

Verse to Remember: “You, LORD, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.”….Isaiah 26:3—A seeking of God’s face daily gives me peace as He reveals his plan for my purpose.

Question to Consider: “What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?—my children and my fiancé are the driving force of my life. I seem to be happiest when I know that they are well and that I have the strength to help sustain them throughout their life journey. However, this is not what I want to be the driving force of my life. I desire instead to have a driving force appointed by God. A driving force from God would be more stable and without disappointments based on my expectations. God let your will be my will.

40 Days Towards Discovering My Purpose--Day 2

Today is Monday, March 08, 2010 and I am writing this entry from an area we call “Jack’s Place” here on base at Al Udeid. I like the environment here at Jack’s. It is always quiet, allowing me to think my thoughts no matter what they might be. Today is the second day of my focus on my 40-day journey of discovering my life's purpose.

Chapter 2 of “The Purpose Driven Life” focuses on the fact that “I am not an accident” but that I was created specifically for God’s purpose. I like this, knowing that I was not an accident but that God has a purpose and plan for my life. Especially since most of my life I have struggled to accept my physical appearance with how I look. Most of my life I never really believed I was beautiful. Perhaps it was because of my wide nose and the gap in between my teeth, and most noticeably because during my school years, I was never considered pretty. I thank God for the life journey He has brought me through because in travelling it, I have come to realize that I am beautiful.

It has taken half of my life for me to finally realize that I am exquisitely and uniquely made according to God’s blueprint, and the most important thing is that He loves me unconditionally. What an awesome feeling to know that your creator loves you without any strings attached. To know that He really wants the very best plan for your life and that his intent is to show you how much he loves you. I am so glad God does not make mistakes and that he does not do anything accidently.

Lord I cannot wait to for you to show me the profound meaning of my life! I love you…Kemi

40 Days Towards Discovering My Purpose--Day 1

Truly, it has been much too long since I posted an entry in this blog. So much has happened in my life during the absence of my entries. So much in fact, that I am not sure where to begin my writing. They say it is always best to begin right where you are, so I will start right here and right now.

Today is Sunday, March 07, 2010 and I am writing this entry from my bedroom here in Doha, Qatar. Yes, you heard me right, Doha, Qatar. I am currently living and working abroad as a civilian contractor with the US Military. In fact, life took a drastic change for me in October 2008 when I landed my first contracting gig with the contracting giant KBR. I spent eight months working in Iraq on the Tallil airbase as an Administrative Specialist and enjoyed every bit of the assignment. It was the most enlightening, educational and inspiring time of my life ever.

A lot has happened since my first tour abroad and I have many stories to tell about my adventures but for now, I wish to focus on my 40-day journey of discovering my life's purpose. I have been stationed here on the Al Udeid Air Base since January 28, 2010 and I have yet to get myself into the groove of enjoying this assignment. A lot of my present discontentment is with my employer and the negatives experienced thus far. However, life is what you make of it, so I am pushing myself to look past all the negatives around me, find my purpose and enjoy my life abroad in spite of the roadblocks encountered along the journey.

As I awakened this morning, I smiled softly at God's awesome love and care for me as His child. I lay in my bed, silently thanking Him for the blessing of another day, and being enclosed in my right mind with my health and strength. I arose, put on my gospel music to help set the mood for the day and began my daily bible reading / devotional study. As my spirit cried out to God in prayer for the protection, safety and continued blessings for family, friends, and myself, I felt an urging deep within myself to get up and begin to make small changes in my life that would benefit me.

The first urging for change that I felt within my spirit this morning was to begin an exercise plan and concentrate on improving my health by walking 30 minutes per day. So before I could give myself time to talk myself out of why I didn't want to begin this task, I set about getting dressed in my workout gear and I headed to the gym for a 30 minute cardio workout. Within my spirit, I know that it's God calling me to a higher purpose for even the smallest of things in my life. I completed the workout and felt encouraged at the fact that I managed to complete the 1.5-mile walk to improve my health.

After completing my daily exercise, I next felt the prompting of spirit leading me to the local library to find a good encouraging book that would help me focus on setting some goals for myself. To my surprise, my eyes landed on Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life". I'd read this particular book once before at the urging of a friend and found it to be spiritually uplifting, and I felt the spirit prompting me to re-read it again. So thus begins my blog topics for the next 40 days, "40 Days Towards Discovering My Purpose". I feel within my spirit God urging me to begin a re-definition of who I am by drawing closer to Him and understanding His reasoning for my life's journey.

I opened the book to Chapter 1 - "What on Earth Am I Here For?", and read with a sense of hunger and desire wanting to know God's purpose for my life at 48 years old. I am here in Doha, Qatar for a reason and I know that by approaching God with a humble heart and a sincere desire to hear His word for my life, He will reveal to me His plan for me and show me where I must be on this journey of life. My soul seemed to absorb like a sponge in water the scripture presented in this chapter-"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree ... Proverbs 11:28 (Msg) ". How timely this word, because my soul has been craving and seeking to flourish like a tree in God's presence. Thank you God for directing my footsteps, even in the smallest of things, I am so very grateful to you Lord.

The reason I like this book is that it challenges me in my journey towards discovering my purpose by asking me to think about my purpose on a daily basis. Therefore, with that in mind, here is my response to thinking about my purpose for day one.

Point to Ponder: "It's not about me."-Lord help me to remember this in my daily interactions with others.

Verse to Remember: "Everything got started in God and finds its purpose inGod" .... Colossians 1:16-This includes my very life and He will reveal my purpose if I seek Him with all my heart

Question to Consider: "In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?"-No matter what material things life has to offer you, you cannot take it with you when it is time to meet God and no matter how much stuff you accumulate in life, it cannot console you when your soul cries out with a longing to be filled and comforted ... only God can meet the need.

I Know Its Been A Long Time

Yes, I'll be the first to admit that it has been seven(7) months since I last posted to my own Blog. Shame on me but hey I've got a set of good excuses...*lol*

For those who did take the time to read my some of my initial writings, you know I made a major life change with my decision to work abroad in Iraq. Back in October, 2008 I had no idea what living and working in Iraq would be like, but I've been here for seven(7) months now and the experience is one I'll remember for a lifetime.

The picture to the right is a current shot of my living conditions here in Iraq.

As I write this post, it's 4pm here in Iraq and the current temperature is 112 degrees hot! Talk about scorching heat. The weather here is nothing like Oklahoma, and it only takes about ten minutes of exposure to the sun here to get sunburned. Being here in the middle of the desert is not a laughing matter. Although I'm stationed on a military base, I'm still smack-dab in the middle of the desert with nothing to be seen but miles and miles of sand. My work days are long, usually 12 hours sometimes more and the work at times can be stressful.

Overall if I had to rate my experience of being here thus far, I'd have to say it hasn't been too bad. Sure there are people here whom you wish you could slap a dozen times or more just for being obnoxious, stupid and down-right evil but I thank God everyday for His keeping grace because without Him I wouldn't have come this far on my journey.

I work as an Administrative Specialist which means I push paper, mainly data entry using a MAXIMO application. The work itself isn't so bad, its just the the people you have work with on a daily basis which make the job unbearable at times. I don't interface much with the military either although my job has a major impact in helping support them on a day to day basis. But I enjoy the work, it keeps me busy and I've learned alot so far about contract work, supporting the military and keeping my sanity amongst individuals who I know should be tied up and given 40-lashes.....*lol*

So much has taken place since my initial journey out of Oklahoma back in October 2008, and there's still much to tell but not today. Little by little, I'll share my story and hope to present a picture to the outside world of life in Iraq as a government contractor.

Until we "blog--meet again" may the Lord watch between you and I.
--Oluwakemi

Countdown to a New Life--Day 4

It's Wednesday, October 22, 2008 here in Tulsa on a very rainy day. Its been a while since we've had a good rain here in Tulsa, so it's much needed. As I lay in bed looking out my window, I watched the raindrops fall and the lightening thundering across the sky. What a perfect day to just lie and reflect over my life and where I am on my journey in life. So many thoughts race through my mind of all I still have yet to handle before I depart Tulsa on Sunday. I'm still sorta torn in feeling as though I'm not as supported as I'd like to be over my decision to work abroad. But I continue to pray and trust God that He will bring all things to pass in due season.

This is the second day that I've not heard from my husband. I'm sure all's well, as he too is working diligently to prepare to meet me in Dubai. Nonetheless, I hate it when we don't communicate on a daily basis, as I'm always left wondering what's happening in his part of the world.

I finished all my packing last night and plan to take my suitcase over to the airport today to have it weighed to ensure I'm within weight restrictions. One would think that I'd be more excited than I am but instead I feel kinda indifferent. I always get this way when I feel bored with things in my life. Wondering if I'll receive my travel itinerary to Houston today, as most others due in Houston on Sunday have already received theirs.

Still haven't been able to make contact with my parents. I've been calling everyday now since Sunday and they're never home. The last time I physically saw them was on Friday night. They were playing bingo at a local establishment near a place where I pay my utility bill. It was good to see them both out having fun, especially Dad, as its been hard for him to just sit around since he was diagnosed as having suffered a slight stroke. Awwww, my parents and their bingo; oh well, guess it's what keeps them happy.

J seems to be coping well with my pending departure abroad. J is just J and the most important thing to him is his nintendo game and wrestling...*lol* However, I really do think that after I've been gone for about a month or so, he'll realize that things aren't really the same in the house without my being present. I think he'll miss me for a while and be really glad to see me come February.

Still not sure what exactly is going on with my daughters. They each seem to be in their own little world, and again I guess it's their way of coping with Mom leaving them on their own totally for the first time in their lives. But I know God is my husband and protector, so He'll do a wonderful job of making sure everyone I love is taken care of.

Well guess I'd better get up and handle today's business as I've got a few things to wrap up in relation to my leaving.

Okay, I finally received my travel itinerary to Houston today! Looks like I've got a late flight out of Tulsa, and only three more days to wrap up last minute details, visit with family and friends and take a good look around at my surroundings here in Tulsa. It'll be four months five months from now before I set feet back on Oklahoma soil.

Still no word from "O" today. I hate it when he fails to make contact with me because I never know what to think is happening from his end of the world. I took my suitcase by the local post office to be weighed and it looks like I'm within the limits of the weight restrictions. I've got all my stuff packed and I'm pretty much ready to go. I still have a few last minute things to handle like picking up medication, coloring my hair, getting ankle socks, getting postage on the package to ship my cell phone home and getting a polish change on my fingers/toes. If I'm going to be meeting my husband for the very first time then I want to be sure I'm looking like an African Queen...*smiling softly*

Its pretty much rained all day today here in Tulsa, and the rain and cooler weather makes me sleepy, especially since I've been up since 5:30ish or so. Talked with my parents today and they seem to be doing okay. Dad's still visiting the doctors and taking tests to determine if there are any other major problems with his health. Mom was surprised to learn that I'm deploying on Sunday. She thought that I wasn't leaving until sometime in November. They're added to my list of folks to visit with one last time before I fly out.

--Oluwakemi