My eldest son phoned me on today. Wow! I was completely taken aback at his phone call. So much so that during our conversation, I broke down and cried. Why? Because my son and I have somewhat been estranged in some ways. You see “K” is my eldest son and he’s always had a definite mind of his own, and stubbornness has been one of his high points.
When he phoned me at work, I was very surprised to hear his voice because as a mother, my child is always on my mind. There’s not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t say a prayer for him, and even more so since he’s stationed in Iraq. No, he’s not in the Armed Forces but working as a contractor instead. He completed his military tour back in 2004, and I’m not sorry to say that I’m glad he got out of the Army when he did. Otherwise , I know he’d probably have been on the front line of the war and already deceased by now but as they say “God knows just what He’s doing” and I’m so glad He’s blessing.
I asked “K” what made him decide to call me and he said, “I don’t know, I was just walking back into the compound and thoughts of you came into my mind. I knew exactly why he’d called me; God had placed it on his heart. You see I’ve been praying mightily for my son. I’ve prayed that God would make his heart tender and turn his heart back to the Lord and his family in a spirit of love and gentleness. So much about “K” has changed over the years and I think the military hardened his heart a great deal due to the things he was exposed to during his military career.
However, since he’s been working as a contractor in Iraq he has started to change some. He’s finally begun to grow up. I remember somewhere along the way someone once told me to just give it time, that in time “K” would mature and become wiser. I now see that piece of advice manifesting itself. I listened with pride and joy as “K” told me how financially independent he’s become as a father who’s responsible for supporting his own kids now. I listened and thought this child who was once a boy, foolish and hard-headed has now grown up into a fine young man, who’s smart, strong, self-willed and becoming wiser every day. I’ve told my son before but I don’t know if he remembers, but I’m very proud of the man he has and is becoming.
“K” told me that he’d be coming home to visit in May and that he’d be bringing the kids with him. I’m excited at the thought of seeing both him and the kids, especially since I’ve not seen the kids since they were three and two. I wonder if they’ll remember Grandma…*smiling softly*…especially since they’ve only seen me once in their lifetime. Nevertheless, I know they’ll know me when they arrive because I’m grandmother, and they’ll feel my love.
Thinking about my grandkids in Germany just reminds me of all my grandkids, especially those here in the States. I chuckle when I think about my eldest grandson “B” and how intelligently he converses with me about even the smallest of things. Always making sure that I’ve heard everything he’s said to me. Then there’s “K” the leader of the pack ! She’s the granddaughter that keeps you praying for strength. Always bossing everyone in everything, she’ll be the leader of the gang. I chuckle again because seeing her interact with the other grandkids reminds me of “K” when he was a little boy, always the leader of the bunch. His siblings, my other kids, would always follow him and the whole loot of them would end up in trouble because “K” always could convince them to do that one thing that would surely land them all into trouble…*lol*
It was good to hear from my son. I’m glad God touched his heart to call. Every mother wonders from time to time if she did the best she could in raising her kids, and I’m no exception. “K” adamantly informed me that most of his anger towards me had been because he felt I deprived him of many things in his childhood. Because I wouldn’t let him do what all the other kids were doing. However, I still knew at the end of our conversation that I’d done my best as the best mother I knew how to be. He talked about how I made them stay indoors to read the Bible at times instead of allowing them to go out and play. I know that while he didn’t and still doesn’t understand it, I pray the older he becomes the more he’ll realize that his childhood wasn’t as terrible as he thought it was; but that instead his mother raised him in love and with a knowledge of God.
So I thank you Lord for protecting my son and keeping him safe. I thank you Lord for blessing him in the ways that you have. I thank you Lord for blessing me with the privilege of being his mother as he journeys in this life. Because when it’s all said and done, I will always be his mother and he will always be my son. I love you “K” never lose sight of our memories whether good or bad…Mom.
---Oluwakemi
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