Still in Love....

I really must admit. I have been doing a lousy job of blogging lately..*lol*…and although I could use the excuse that there is so much going on in my life, I won’t.

It’s a beautiful day here in Tulsa. Temperatures peaked around the 80’s with lots of wind and sunshine. At work today, my old boss and the new boss both took me and a co-worker out to lunch to celebrate Administrative Professional’s Day since they had failed to get around to it on the actual date. We ate at a restaurant called Ti Amo’s an Italian place. The food was okay but not somewhere, I’d like to eat again any time soon.

When I’m worried about things, I tend to talk too much, along with feeling anxious. Moreover, of late, I’ve been plenty worried and anxious. Why? Because my finance’ “O” has been in the hospital for nearly a week now, and I’m so worried about his condition. I’m even more worried because I’m not able to physically be there at his side to care for him, and this makes me crazy. I thank God though that his cousin “L” who loves him dearly has been there for him without fail. Not to mention “L” has kept me posted every step of the way about “O’s” condition.

I finally got an opportunity to speak with “O” on yesterday and he sounded so very weak. He tried to reassure me though that he was feeling better and was doing quite well. However, the mother instinct in me doesn’t believe this for one minute. I just wish to God there was some way on the face of this earth that I could physically get to him. He really and truly does need me, and now I realize what he was trying to say to me when he said, “honey, I need you more than you know”.

Apparently, he’s been having some stomach problems for quite some time now but has tried to just be himself because he didn’t want me to know how sick he really was. I wonder why life hands you the cards that it does at times. I still for the life of me cannot understand why God has allowed me and “O’s” paths to cross virtually but we’re unable physically to be together. Is this some kind of test of our love and commitment to one another? All I know is that I will be so glad when I can get a real grip on things from a financial aspect so that I can be at my husband’s side to stand strong with him.

“O” truly is a good man, and God knew exactly what He was doing when he brought us together. Things for the two of us haven’t always been heavenly, in that we have our battles like every couple in love but what makes our relationship worth it is our continued commitment to one another. I know people think I’m crazy for being in love with someone clear across the planet and whom I continue to believe is my husband but I know in my heart God has ordained this relationship and we shall be joined in physical and holy matrimony before God’s eyes.

I’ve thought about “O” every waking second since I last talked with him on Saturday evening before I even knew he was ill. He was so very loving and kind to me, as he always is. Telling me only how much he loved me and that I was everything he’d ever prayed for in a companion. No man I’ve ever dated has shown me as much love as “O” has. For this, I feel so very blessed because he continues to believe and he encourages me when I’m down reminding me that we will be one as husband and wife soon.

All I can say again is “God thank you, thank you so very much for giving me a husband after your heart”. I promise to love, cherish, honor and obey him until death do us part.

--Oluwakemi

Between Mothers and Sons....

My eldest son phoned me on today. Wow! I was completely taken aback at his phone call. So much so that during our conversation, I broke down and cried. Why? Because my son and I have somewhat been estranged in some ways. You see “K” is my eldest son and he’s always had a definite mind of his own, and stubbornness has been one of his high points.

When he phoned me at work, I was very surprised to hear his voice because as a mother, my child is always on my mind. There’s not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t say a prayer for him, and even more so since he’s stationed in Iraq. No, he’s not in the Armed Forces but working as a contractor instead. He completed his military tour back in 2004, and I’m not sorry to say that I’m glad he got out of the Army when he did. Otherwise , I know he’d probably have been on the front line of the war and already deceased by now but as they say “God knows just what He’s doing” and I’m so glad He’s blessing.

I asked “K” what made him decide to call me and he said, “I don’t know, I was just walking back into the compound and thoughts of you came into my mind. I knew exactly why he’d called me; God had placed it on his heart. You see I’ve been praying mightily for my son. I’ve prayed that God would make his heart tender and turn his heart back to the Lord and his family in a spirit of love and gentleness. So much about “K” has changed over the years and I think the military hardened his heart a great deal due to the things he was exposed to during his military career.

However, since he’s been working as a contractor in Iraq he has started to change some. He’s finally begun to grow up. I remember somewhere along the way someone once told me to just give it time, that in time “K” would mature and become wiser. I now see that piece of advice manifesting itself. I listened with pride and joy as “K” told me how financially independent he’s become as a father who’s responsible for supporting his own kids now. I listened and thought this child who was once a boy, foolish and hard-headed has now grown up into a fine young man, who’s smart, strong, self-willed and becoming wiser every day. I’ve told my son before but I don’t know if he remembers, but I’m very proud of the man he has and is becoming.

“K” told me that he’d be coming home to visit in May and that he’d be bringing the kids with him. I’m excited at the thought of seeing both him and the kids, especially since I’ve not seen the kids since they were three and two. I wonder if they’ll remember Grandma…*smiling softly*…especially since they’ve only seen me once in their lifetime. Nevertheless, I know they’ll know me when they arrive because I’m grandmother, and they’ll feel my love.

Thinking about my grandkids in Germany just reminds me of all my grandkids, especially those here in the States. I chuckle when I think about my eldest grandson “B” and how intelligently he converses with me about even the smallest of things. Always making sure that I’ve heard everything he’s said to me. Then there’s “K” the leader of the pack ! She’s the granddaughter that keeps you praying for strength. Always bossing everyone in everything, she’ll be the leader of the gang. I chuckle again because seeing her interact with the other grandkids reminds me of “K” when he was a little boy, always the leader of the bunch. His siblings, my other kids, would always follow him and the whole loot of them would end up in trouble because “K” always could convince them to do that one thing that would surely land them all into trouble…*lol*

It was good to hear from my son. I’m glad God touched his heart to call. Every mother wonders from time to time if she did the best she could in raising her kids, and I’m no exception. “K” adamantly informed me that most of his anger towards me had been because he felt I deprived him of many things in his childhood. Because I wouldn’t let him do what all the other kids were doing. However, I still knew at the end of our conversation that I’d done my best as the best mother I knew how to be. He talked about how I made them stay indoors to read the Bible at times instead of allowing them to go out and play. I know that while he didn’t and still doesn’t understand it, I pray the older he becomes the more he’ll realize that his childhood wasn’t as terrible as he thought it was; but that instead his mother raised him in love and with a knowledge of God.

So I thank you Lord for protecting my son and keeping him safe. I thank you Lord for blessing him in the ways that you have. I thank you Lord for blessing me with the privilege of being his mother as he journeys in this life. Because when it’s all said and done, I will always be his mother and he will always be my son. I love you “K” never lose sight of our memories whether good or bad…Mom.

---Oluwakemi

Discovering My Passion

It is a beautiful sunny day here in Tulsa with chilly temperatures but nonetheless a beautiful day. As I write this post, I smile at my self-revelation about whom I am and why I am here. I have always wondered what I was put on this earth to do, and for most of my life, I have felt very frustrated over not being able to figure it out. However, lately, I have seemed to be more in tune with this aspect of my design and I feel that finally, after 46 years, the eyes of my soul now see.

I have been thinking a lot these days about my life and where I am headed or better yet, where I would like to be headed. You see, at 46 years old, a lot of change is taking place in my world. My youngest child is about to graduate from high school in six weeks, my boss of a year and a half is leaving and the lease on my apartment is up in three months….whew! All of this is affecting me at a very personal level and I have many decisions to make.

Now that I am about to be living on my own (since my son wants to get his own apartment) I am struck with the realization of “what will I really do with myself?” I mean, for the most part, I gear my life around my children and grandchildren and I have not had much of a social outlet apart from that. I am typically the kind of person who just goes to work, church and back home. Apart from those days where I babysit my grandchildren or play a game of billiards with my son, I am usually stuck in the house surfing the net. So I’ve begun to do some true introspection into my life about what it is I want to be doing now, especially since it’s going to just be me around the house, and I’ve discovered I want to travel abroad, teach English and help others along the way.

Just what exactly do I mean by helping others? Well, I have always loved sharing my knowledge with others by helping people learn new things. However, of late I have had a burning desire to leave the confines of my stable environment and teach English abroad. I know it sounds insane to want to give up a decent and stable life to go running all over the world to God knows where and living God knows how. However, I want to be doing something more meaningful with the knowledge and gifts I possess.

I have always loved sharing whatever knowledge I had about my passions with those who seemed receptive to listening and learning. So what better way to use my life experiences as a mother, grandmother, wife, student, teacher, employee and native English speaker, than to share them with those who may be interested in hearing what I have to say. I truly hope my own experiences will benefit others in some way and that my desire to teach English abroad brings positive change in the lives of those with whom I share.

Since I’ve discovered what I believe is my life’s passion, I’ve been checking out tons of stuff related to Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL) and Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL). It appears that teaching English abroad is not too difficult but simply requires some planning, commitment, and certification to teach. I have decided to make the plunge and acquire the certification in order to obtain work abroad that will allow me to live my dream of traveling and helping people along the way.

I smile at the synchronistic events that have crossed my path today. The events seem to be clues pointing me in the right direction. For instance, a colleague of mine who is the Dean of Global Education at the college where I work stopped by my office this morning for friendly chat and we discussed living a life filled with what it is you want to do, as well as teaching English and living abroad. Then, shortly thereafter, I received an instant message from a friend of mine who shared the following:

Question: Why do people stagnate for years or decades in their
life?

Answer: They don’t have a PICTURE/VISION in their mind that
is greater than their current reality.

Question: Why do so many people have little to no personal
growth their whole adult life?

Answer: Without a PICTURE of a future GREATER than where you
are today, there’s no incentive or need to grow.

Until you CONCEIVE of a future that you want, that will excite you, you're
not going to release all your God given gifts. You have to conceive on the inside before you live it. When you shackle your gifts, you hold your income and personal growth hostage.

Source: http://www.mikelitman.com/blog/?p=70

In addition, to put the icing on the cake, I opened an e-mail containing a company-wide newsletter that mentioned the State of Oklahoma celebrating international students, and what caught my attention in the article was the mention of the college’s in-house ESL coordinator, whom I never knew existed. Therefore, I immediately sent an e-mail to this individual seeking advice about ESL opportunities that might be available to college staff interested in gaining ESL teaching experience. It just absolutely amazes me the things God/Universe bring across your path when you become tuned into your heart’s desire.

As I ponder the possibilities that lie before me to change my life and make it what I want it to truly be, I shudder with excitement, excited because I know that my dream can become a reality if I pursue it with passion. As I write this post, my heart longs for Africa, and I long to be there, teaching a people I feel so connected to in a strange way. I long to make a difference in the lives of these people because as I have connected and made various friendships among the Nigerian people, my heart is touched at the level of poverty some of them experience. I long to reach out to those among them who truly suffer and bring hope, the hope of learning something they didn’t know before that could change their life in a positive way.

I believe I, just like everyone else on this planet is here for a purpose, to make a difference in the life of another human being. My desire to reach out through teaching of my language and life experiences has awakened within me a passion I know will transform me and those I touch.

—Oluwakemi

Blogging Your Way to Riches

I can't count the numerous times I've searched high and low for opportunities to make money while sharing my written thoughts with others, and by golly I've stumbled upon an opportunity.

Tell me if you know of anyone who doesn't enjoy receiving extra money. I for one am always on the lookout for opportunities which allow me to earn additional income....legally of course, and that's where Bloggerwave can pay off.

Did you know that Bloggerwave gives you the opportunity to make extra money from blogging? That's right....if you have a blog and want to make some extra money, then checkout the site that aims to be Europes' biggest advertising media on blogs, and you can help them grow so more and more jobs will come.

So if you enjoy blogging and want to make money while doing what you love then checkout Bloggerwave and join the latest wave in blogging.

Happy blogging !

--Oluwakemi

To Be Loved By a Nigerian Man

It's an absolutely gorgeous day in Tulsa. In fact, the temperature here got up to around 74 degrees with lots of sunshine. Although I'm writing because I realize it's been well over 3 days since my last post, I'm really writing because I've gotta get my feelings out on paper about my feelings for my Nigerian husband whom I love so much.

You see, my husband (husband to be, but he and I see ourselves as married already) lives in Nigeria. He has never set foot in the U.S., yet our love is stronger than anything else either of us can imagine in our lives. We first began communicating with one another in October 2006 and have been deeply in love ever since. There are those who would say "how can you love someone you've never physically met"; however, this kind of realistic thinking doesn't matter to me because it feels like I've know my Nigerian husband forever.

As I sit here at the computer gazing out of my bedroom window, my heart has a sort of melancholy to it. I imagine vividly the feel of "O's" hands against me, his breath warm against my ear as he whispers my name, the sound of his laughter as he calls to me with an undying love. I love this Yoruba king of mine. He is everything I've ever desired in a man as a companion. And although life for him in Nigeria is so hard pressed most of the time, the one thing that does not falter is his love for me.

Every waking moment thoughts of him are on my mind. I wonder incessantly how he's doing, what he's doing and if everything is well for him in a country so plagued with hardship and turmoil. I love this man more than anyone I've ever loved in my entire lifetime upon this earth. Just the sound of his voice fills me with an unexplainable warmth, audible laughter and overwhelming joy. My mind is always churning with thoughts of anticipation as I dream of our first meeting, our first kiss, our first embrace. Yes, I love this man dearly and he loves me just as much, that's what makes it so beautiful.

I will travel to and set my feet upon Nigerian soil for the first time ever during my life in July 2008. I have dreamed of and longed for this day since the moment I gave my heart to "O". I still remember the feeling of pure happiness and unspeakable joy the day he asked me to be his wife. Asking me if I'd give my heart to him and allow him to make me happy. Asking me if I'd share my life with him and stand by his side as his African Queen til the day we both took our last breath. He is the man I know in my heart God destined and created me for. I am the woman I know God designed for him and him alone.

"O" and I have come through so very much since October 2006 and through it all, our journey has continued and grown stronger than any love I've ever had. My husband is a man of beauty, truth, wisdom, strength and most of all God fearing. I love the sensitivity of his heart as a man who's not afraid to be real with me and expose his vunerabilities or emotions. I love the way he calls my Yoruba name and the way he speaks in his native tongue when he says "Mo ni ife re ==> I love you so much"

Yes, distance separates us physically as lovers but the energy of our love and bond of our committment keep us so very close. I love what we share and the way we connect. Our journey together has allowed each of us to easily perceive when something is amiss with the other.

Just today when I phoned my love to just say "I love you and I'm thinking of you" I detected the note of sadness in his voice. I could hear the voice of tears which had been his but which he tried to conceal from me. As his wife, I instictively reached out asking him what was wrong and to not hide his trouble from me because I could feel his energy and I knew something was wrong. Being the strong, assertive, full-blooded Yoruba man he is, he assured me that all was well and not to worry. Haaa! Telling a woman not to worry is like asking a wall to step aside...*lol* Of course "O" finally admitted that he was troubled and promised we'd talk about what was bothering him. This too is another side of him I love so deeply because he isn't afraid to open to me and share his true self.

I could go on and on about all the things I love in my Nigerian man. His strength, resourcefullness and intelligence sometimes blow me away and I just smile as I think "God you gave me a true African king". There has been no other man that I've loved who has made me feel more alive, more desired, more cherished, more adored or more deeply loved than my Nigerian husband. As I look into the clear blue sky, I say this prayer to God "thank you Lord for the beauty of my Nigerian husband's love and for allowing me to experience it in it's fullness and sincerity."

Mo ni ife re oko mi ===> I love you so much my husband

--Oluwakemi

10 Things You Can Do For Free with Your Kids During Spring Break

For most U.S. students Spring Break is quickly approaching. You know that coveted time where students put away their pencils, books and homework to enjoy a little rest and relaxation. However, for most parents with children 12 years old and younger, finding captivating activities can be a challenge. Especially if the your budget is limited when it comes to activities that require $$$.

If you're looking for creative ways to entertain your child during Spring Break, then why not take advantage of things you can do for free or little money and most likely things found right in your own neigborhood.

So here's a list...

1. Visit your local park and if it has a pond with ducks take along a loaf of bread and feed the ducks. Most people get a kick out of watching ducks hungrily gobble up bread crumbs.
2. Visit your local park and spend a relaxing afternoon together as a family eating a picnic lunch while sitting on a blanket conversing and playing your favorite board game.
3. Go for a leisurely walk and engage the kids in a race to see who can run the fastest.
4. Go get ice cream on a cone and sit and talk while enjoying it.
5. Go play a game of billards (pool).
6. Visit your local library checkout a movie the kids will enjoy, and buy popcorn and other snacks from the dollar store to enjoy while watching the movie.
7. Visit your local muesum and have the kids give you one important detail about a display that interests them.
8. Take a mini day vacation to a town nearest you and visit a site you've not seen before.
9. Visit a local bookstore such as Barnes & Noble and let the kids find a favorite book to read while browsing the store.
10. Pull out your favorite board game and play as a family.
    

These are all things I did with my kids when they were between the ages of 5-12. Kids love their parents' attention and Spring Break is a wonderful time for family fun. Once you get every one involved, the laughing will be contagious and the memories priceless.

Oluwakemi

Taken By Surprise

There are some surprises in life I welcome with open arms, while there are others I wish I had a remote control for.

My boss of almost two years just told me he accepted another job offer. Talk about taken by surprise. I never saw it coming. Now don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely happy for him, because I know it's an idea situation considering he's been telecommuting between Oklahoma and Texas for almost two years. Yet, I genuinely hate to see him go. This individual has not only been my boss, but a mentor in the workplace and a supportive shoulder when I've just needed to vent. I've interacted with a lot of supervisors during my working years, and not everyone is supervisor material. But there are some people who make a positive difference in the lives of their co-workers and my boss has been such an individual.

Although there are still six weeks until he officially leaves, I'm still sad. Working for and with my boss was a joy because we interacted very well. He knew his job, did it well, respected me greatly as an Executive Assistant and allowed me to perform my duties with as much autonomy as needed to effectively support our department. For this I'm extremely grateful and thankful that I was blessed to work along side such an individual.

I continue to feel a myriad of emotions behind this surprise but nonetheless, I wish him well. I only pray that God will bless me to be so fortunate to work with someone else I'll some day consider a great boss.

Oluwakemi