Between Mothers and Sons....

My eldest son phoned me on today. Wow! I was completely taken aback at his phone call. So much so that during our conversation, I broke down and cried. Why? Because my son and I have somewhat been estranged in some ways. You see “K” is my eldest son and he’s always had a definite mind of his own, and stubbornness has been one of his high points.

When he phoned me at work, I was very surprised to hear his voice because as a mother, my child is always on my mind. There’s not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t say a prayer for him, and even more so since he’s stationed in Iraq. No, he’s not in the Armed Forces but working as a contractor instead. He completed his military tour back in 2004, and I’m not sorry to say that I’m glad he got out of the Army when he did. Otherwise , I know he’d probably have been on the front line of the war and already deceased by now but as they say “God knows just what He’s doing” and I’m so glad He’s blessing.

I asked “K” what made him decide to call me and he said, “I don’t know, I was just walking back into the compound and thoughts of you came into my mind. I knew exactly why he’d called me; God had placed it on his heart. You see I’ve been praying mightily for my son. I’ve prayed that God would make his heart tender and turn his heart back to the Lord and his family in a spirit of love and gentleness. So much about “K” has changed over the years and I think the military hardened his heart a great deal due to the things he was exposed to during his military career.

However, since he’s been working as a contractor in Iraq he has started to change some. He’s finally begun to grow up. I remember somewhere along the way someone once told me to just give it time, that in time “K” would mature and become wiser. I now see that piece of advice manifesting itself. I listened with pride and joy as “K” told me how financially independent he’s become as a father who’s responsible for supporting his own kids now. I listened and thought this child who was once a boy, foolish and hard-headed has now grown up into a fine young man, who’s smart, strong, self-willed and becoming wiser every day. I’ve told my son before but I don’t know if he remembers, but I’m very proud of the man he has and is becoming.

“K” told me that he’d be coming home to visit in May and that he’d be bringing the kids with him. I’m excited at the thought of seeing both him and the kids, especially since I’ve not seen the kids since they were three and two. I wonder if they’ll remember Grandma…*smiling softly*…especially since they’ve only seen me once in their lifetime. Nevertheless, I know they’ll know me when they arrive because I’m grandmother, and they’ll feel my love.

Thinking about my grandkids in Germany just reminds me of all my grandkids, especially those here in the States. I chuckle when I think about my eldest grandson “B” and how intelligently he converses with me about even the smallest of things. Always making sure that I’ve heard everything he’s said to me. Then there’s “K” the leader of the pack ! She’s the granddaughter that keeps you praying for strength. Always bossing everyone in everything, she’ll be the leader of the gang. I chuckle again because seeing her interact with the other grandkids reminds me of “K” when he was a little boy, always the leader of the bunch. His siblings, my other kids, would always follow him and the whole loot of them would end up in trouble because “K” always could convince them to do that one thing that would surely land them all into trouble…*lol*

It was good to hear from my son. I’m glad God touched his heart to call. Every mother wonders from time to time if she did the best she could in raising her kids, and I’m no exception. “K” adamantly informed me that most of his anger towards me had been because he felt I deprived him of many things in his childhood. Because I wouldn’t let him do what all the other kids were doing. However, I still knew at the end of our conversation that I’d done my best as the best mother I knew how to be. He talked about how I made them stay indoors to read the Bible at times instead of allowing them to go out and play. I know that while he didn’t and still doesn’t understand it, I pray the older he becomes the more he’ll realize that his childhood wasn’t as terrible as he thought it was; but that instead his mother raised him in love and with a knowledge of God.

So I thank you Lord for protecting my son and keeping him safe. I thank you Lord for blessing him in the ways that you have. I thank you Lord for blessing me with the privilege of being his mother as he journeys in this life. Because when it’s all said and done, I will always be his mother and he will always be my son. I love you “K” never lose sight of our memories whether good or bad…Mom.

---Oluwakemi

Discovering My Passion

It is a beautiful sunny day here in Tulsa with chilly temperatures but nonetheless a beautiful day. As I write this post, I smile at my self-revelation about whom I am and why I am here. I have always wondered what I was put on this earth to do, and for most of my life, I have felt very frustrated over not being able to figure it out. However, lately, I have seemed to be more in tune with this aspect of my design and I feel that finally, after 46 years, the eyes of my soul now see.

I have been thinking a lot these days about my life and where I am headed or better yet, where I would like to be headed. You see, at 46 years old, a lot of change is taking place in my world. My youngest child is about to graduate from high school in six weeks, my boss of a year and a half is leaving and the lease on my apartment is up in three months….whew! All of this is affecting me at a very personal level and I have many decisions to make.

Now that I am about to be living on my own (since my son wants to get his own apartment) I am struck with the realization of “what will I really do with myself?” I mean, for the most part, I gear my life around my children and grandchildren and I have not had much of a social outlet apart from that. I am typically the kind of person who just goes to work, church and back home. Apart from those days where I babysit my grandchildren or play a game of billiards with my son, I am usually stuck in the house surfing the net. So I’ve begun to do some true introspection into my life about what it is I want to be doing now, especially since it’s going to just be me around the house, and I’ve discovered I want to travel abroad, teach English and help others along the way.

Just what exactly do I mean by helping others? Well, I have always loved sharing my knowledge with others by helping people learn new things. However, of late I have had a burning desire to leave the confines of my stable environment and teach English abroad. I know it sounds insane to want to give up a decent and stable life to go running all over the world to God knows where and living God knows how. However, I want to be doing something more meaningful with the knowledge and gifts I possess.

I have always loved sharing whatever knowledge I had about my passions with those who seemed receptive to listening and learning. So what better way to use my life experiences as a mother, grandmother, wife, student, teacher, employee and native English speaker, than to share them with those who may be interested in hearing what I have to say. I truly hope my own experiences will benefit others in some way and that my desire to teach English abroad brings positive change in the lives of those with whom I share.

Since I’ve discovered what I believe is my life’s passion, I’ve been checking out tons of stuff related to Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL) and Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL). It appears that teaching English abroad is not too difficult but simply requires some planning, commitment, and certification to teach. I have decided to make the plunge and acquire the certification in order to obtain work abroad that will allow me to live my dream of traveling and helping people along the way.

I smile at the synchronistic events that have crossed my path today. The events seem to be clues pointing me in the right direction. For instance, a colleague of mine who is the Dean of Global Education at the college where I work stopped by my office this morning for friendly chat and we discussed living a life filled with what it is you want to do, as well as teaching English and living abroad. Then, shortly thereafter, I received an instant message from a friend of mine who shared the following:

Question: Why do people stagnate for years or decades in their
life?

Answer: They don’t have a PICTURE/VISION in their mind that
is greater than their current reality.

Question: Why do so many people have little to no personal
growth their whole adult life?

Answer: Without a PICTURE of a future GREATER than where you
are today, there’s no incentive or need to grow.

Until you CONCEIVE of a future that you want, that will excite you, you're
not going to release all your God given gifts. You have to conceive on the inside before you live it. When you shackle your gifts, you hold your income and personal growth hostage.

Source: http://www.mikelitman.com/blog/?p=70

In addition, to put the icing on the cake, I opened an e-mail containing a company-wide newsletter that mentioned the State of Oklahoma celebrating international students, and what caught my attention in the article was the mention of the college’s in-house ESL coordinator, whom I never knew existed. Therefore, I immediately sent an e-mail to this individual seeking advice about ESL opportunities that might be available to college staff interested in gaining ESL teaching experience. It just absolutely amazes me the things God/Universe bring across your path when you become tuned into your heart’s desire.

As I ponder the possibilities that lie before me to change my life and make it what I want it to truly be, I shudder with excitement, excited because I know that my dream can become a reality if I pursue it with passion. As I write this post, my heart longs for Africa, and I long to be there, teaching a people I feel so connected to in a strange way. I long to make a difference in the lives of these people because as I have connected and made various friendships among the Nigerian people, my heart is touched at the level of poverty some of them experience. I long to reach out to those among them who truly suffer and bring hope, the hope of learning something they didn’t know before that could change their life in a positive way.

I believe I, just like everyone else on this planet is here for a purpose, to make a difference in the life of another human being. My desire to reach out through teaching of my language and life experiences has awakened within me a passion I know will transform me and those I touch.

—Oluwakemi