I really must admit. I have been doing a lousy job of blogging lately..*lol*…and although I could use the excuse that there is so much going on in my life, I won’t.
It’s a beautiful day here in Tulsa. Temperatures peaked around the 80’s with lots of wind and sunshine. At work today, my old boss and the new boss both took me and a co-worker out to lunch to celebrate Administrative Professional’s Day since they had failed to get around to it on the actual date. We ate at a restaurant called Ti Amo’s an Italian place. The food was okay but not somewhere, I’d like to eat again any time soon.
When I’m worried about things, I tend to talk too much, along with feeling anxious. Moreover, of late, I’ve been plenty worried and anxious. Why? Because my finance’ “O” has been in the hospital for nearly a week now, and I’m so worried about his condition. I’m even more worried because I’m not able to physically be there at his side to care for him, and this makes me crazy. I thank God though that his cousin “L” who loves him dearly has been there for him without fail. Not to mention “L” has kept me posted every step of the way about “O’s” condition.
I finally got an opportunity to speak with “O” on yesterday and he sounded so very weak. He tried to reassure me though that he was feeling better and was doing quite well. However, the mother instinct in me doesn’t believe this for one minute. I just wish to God there was some way on the face of this earth that I could physically get to him. He really and truly does need me, and now I realize what he was trying to say to me when he said, “honey, I need you more than you know”.
Apparently, he’s been having some stomach problems for quite some time now but has tried to just be himself because he didn’t want me to know how sick he really was. I wonder why life hands you the cards that it does at times. I still for the life of me cannot understand why God has allowed me and “O’s” paths to cross virtually but we’re unable physically to be together. Is this some kind of test of our love and commitment to one another? All I know is that I will be so glad when I can get a real grip on things from a financial aspect so that I can be at my husband’s side to stand strong with him.
“O” truly is a good man, and God knew exactly what He was doing when he brought us together. Things for the two of us haven’t always been heavenly, in that we have our battles like every couple in love but what makes our relationship worth it is our continued commitment to one another. I know people think I’m crazy for being in love with someone clear across the planet and whom I continue to believe is my husband but I know in my heart God has ordained this relationship and we shall be joined in physical and holy matrimony before God’s eyes.
I’ve thought about “O” every waking second since I last talked with him on Saturday evening before I even knew he was ill. He was so very loving and kind to me, as he always is. Telling me only how much he loved me and that I was everything he’d ever prayed for in a companion. No man I’ve ever dated has shown me as much love as “O” has. For this, I feel so very blessed because he continues to believe and he encourages me when I’m down reminding me that we will be one as husband and wife soon.
All I can say again is “God thank you, thank you so very much for giving me a husband after your heart”. I promise to love, cherish, honor and obey him until death do us part.
--Oluwakemi
