Countdown to a New Life--Day 4

It's Wednesday, October 22, 2008 here in Tulsa on a very rainy day. Its been a while since we've had a good rain here in Tulsa, so it's much needed. As I lay in bed looking out my window, I watched the raindrops fall and the lightening thundering across the sky. What a perfect day to just lie and reflect over my life and where I am on my journey in life. So many thoughts race through my mind of all I still have yet to handle before I depart Tulsa on Sunday. I'm still sorta torn in feeling as though I'm not as supported as I'd like to be over my decision to work abroad. But I continue to pray and trust God that He will bring all things to pass in due season.

This is the second day that I've not heard from my husband. I'm sure all's well, as he too is working diligently to prepare to meet me in Dubai. Nonetheless, I hate it when we don't communicate on a daily basis, as I'm always left wondering what's happening in his part of the world.

I finished all my packing last night and plan to take my suitcase over to the airport today to have it weighed to ensure I'm within weight restrictions. One would think that I'd be more excited than I am but instead I feel kinda indifferent. I always get this way when I feel bored with things in my life. Wondering if I'll receive my travel itinerary to Houston today, as most others due in Houston on Sunday have already received theirs.

Still haven't been able to make contact with my parents. I've been calling everyday now since Sunday and they're never home. The last time I physically saw them was on Friday night. They were playing bingo at a local establishment near a place where I pay my utility bill. It was good to see them both out having fun, especially Dad, as its been hard for him to just sit around since he was diagnosed as having suffered a slight stroke. Awwww, my parents and their bingo; oh well, guess it's what keeps them happy.

J seems to be coping well with my pending departure abroad. J is just J and the most important thing to him is his nintendo game and wrestling...*lol* However, I really do think that after I've been gone for about a month or so, he'll realize that things aren't really the same in the house without my being present. I think he'll miss me for a while and be really glad to see me come February.

Still not sure what exactly is going on with my daughters. They each seem to be in their own little world, and again I guess it's their way of coping with Mom leaving them on their own totally for the first time in their lives. But I know God is my husband and protector, so He'll do a wonderful job of making sure everyone I love is taken care of.

Well guess I'd better get up and handle today's business as I've got a few things to wrap up in relation to my leaving.

Okay, I finally received my travel itinerary to Houston today! Looks like I've got a late flight out of Tulsa, and only three more days to wrap up last minute details, visit with family and friends and take a good look around at my surroundings here in Tulsa. It'll be four months five months from now before I set feet back on Oklahoma soil.

Still no word from "O" today. I hate it when he fails to make contact with me because I never know what to think is happening from his end of the world. I took my suitcase by the local post office to be weighed and it looks like I'm within the limits of the weight restrictions. I've got all my stuff packed and I'm pretty much ready to go. I still have a few last minute things to handle like picking up medication, coloring my hair, getting ankle socks, getting postage on the package to ship my cell phone home and getting a polish change on my fingers/toes. If I'm going to be meeting my husband for the very first time then I want to be sure I'm looking like an African Queen...*smiling softly*

Its pretty much rained all day today here in Tulsa, and the rain and cooler weather makes me sleepy, especially since I've been up since 5:30ish or so. Talked with my parents today and they seem to be doing okay. Dad's still visiting the doctors and taking tests to determine if there are any other major problems with his health. Mom was surprised to learn that I'm deploying on Sunday. She thought that I wasn't leaving until sometime in November. They're added to my list of folks to visit with one last time before I fly out.

--Oluwakemi

Countdown to a New Life--Day 5

Today is Tuesday, and there are only four more days left before I head to the airport on Sunday to fly out of Tulsa to Houston. Began my day early as usual, up around 5:30am, spent time in the Word of God and prayer. Headed to the gym and got a 5 mile walk/run in, and then headed back home for a good hot bath. I continue to keep my blood sugar levels in the normal range, although they tend to be a bit on the high side upon awakening each morning. But after my daily exercise, and breakfast, they test out as normal.

I weighed in today and have lost an additional three (3) pounds; so I'm now down to 217 lbs. I was so hoping I'd have gotten my weight down to 200 lbs by the time I see "O" in person in Dubai. I don't know which of us is more excited about meeting for the first time. We both have so many thoughts of our first meeting. I'll just be glad when I can actually physically touch him for the very first, as though to prove to myself that he's real.

My eldest daughter and I had lunch together today. I enjoyed this as I've really wanted to spend as much time as possible with all my kids before leaving the States. I'm hoping that we will all be able to have a family get-together over the weekend before I fly out on Sunday. Nothing special just want to bake cookies with the grand kids and laugh and talk with the kids about days gone by and times to come.

I picked up the remainder of my clothes from the cleaners today, so I'm really praying I'll be able to fit the remainder of the articles I hope to take with me into the suitcase I'm using. A few of the other individuals I've met who are going to Houston for processing, have apparently gotten their travel itineraries already. Hoping mine will show up by at least tomorrow and not at the last minute on Friday.

Plan to color my hair on Saturday in order to get rid of some of the grey. I want to be absolutely sure I'm looking my very best when I see my husband for the very first time...*smiling softly* Well, more to come on tomorrow, as it'll be Countdown to a New Life--Day 4.

--Oluwakemi

Countdown to a New Life--Day 6

Okay, its Monday and this is the first day of the vacation I took from my current employer in preparation for the trip to Houston in order to complete processing with the new employer. Taking a week of vacation is a stretch for me, let alone taking three entire weeks. I've been chatting with others who are also headed to Houston for processing to go to Iraq, and I must say I'm really looking forward to getting on the plane to Houston and getting all this underway.

I began packing my suitcase today and realized I've got quite a few things to try and fit into this one piece of luggage. There is a weight restriction, so I pray that I can bring along everything I need without exceeding the limit. I've also pretty much wrapped up a lot of things from a legal perspective, only have one or two more things to get done. I plan to finish packing no later than Friday and then take my suitcase to the Post Office in hopes of having them weigh it for me.

For the most part, my children seem to be quite calm about my departure. We've hung out here and there but I really don't think it's hit them just yet. I think the true impact will come once they realize I'm physically not here and won't be for a while. They each continue to move along as though nothing different has happened. I seem to be experiencing the same thing from my parents. They too don't seem to be making a big deal of my heading away to a country far from home. Oh well, I've accepted things as they are, and have come to realize that this is all about my living my life, just as others seem to be living theirs.

Well, I'd better head to bed, I'm getting sleepy.

--Oluwakemi

Countdown to a New Life--Day 7

It’s Sunday morning, October 19, 2008 here in Tulsa, and I sit thinking with so much on my mind. Precisely one week from today, I will be leaving Tulsa, Oklahoma to fly to Houston, Texas for processing in preparation for working abroad. Part of me is excited about the opportunity to experience life abroad and travel to places I have only dreamed of visiting. Yet the other part of me is somewhat sad at the fact that for the first time in 28 years, I will be leaving my kids behind on their own for one year.

My children are now grownups, each has their own personality, and in my eyes, each is the most beautiful, unique, and intelligent and loving child a mother could ask for. I am thankful God granted me the opportunity to be mother to them while on this journey called life. Although my children are my heart and soul, I am saddened at the fact that we have not spent more time together as the time draws nearer for me to depart. Perhaps they too are struggling with their emotions of my leaving them.

My heart is heavy, and I want nothing more than to feel the warmth of my children and grandchildrens' arms about me. To hear the sounds of their laughter, to see the joy upon their faces, and the reminiscing in their eyes as we remember the good and bad times shared. My children and I have come through so many trials over the years, and yet I am so ever grateful that through all of them, God has kept us strong.

I know that for my daughters, my leaving is hardest because they are single mother’s themselves, and they have relied upon me the most. But yet, I know without a doubt they are strong women who come from a lineage of strong, confident, and intelligent black women; my daughters will be just fine. I worry most about my baby, a boy, who is now 20 years old. He just graduated high school in May 2008, and this is his first attempt at being an adult. All he has truly ever known is his two sisters and I. He will continue to live in our home here, and I pray that God guides his footsteps, helps him to become a man, and protects him in every way.

Despite my feelings, I know that God is Lord over all, and He will keep my family and I safe through our journeys. I have walked long enough with God to know that sometimes, I have to encourage myself when life seems to come at you fast. This job opportunity is an experience to give me more insight about life around the world, and not everyone gets such an opportunity. Father God, I welcome and thank you for your grace, goodness and mercy. It is by your goodness that I prevail.

--Oluwakemi

Reflections of my Soul

Poetry of the mind,
Thoughts and ideas
Full of promises and yet unreachable at times

Where are you found? What is it you seek?
Does your soul call?
Does its meaning give life to your inner spaces?
What do you seek? Where do you belong?

Silently tears fall
Stinging the open wounds of my heart
Reflections of past hurt escape to the inner light
A renewed sense of justice calls to me now
Can you feel the sense of urgency within?
Do you have the key that unlocks the closed door?

Patterns
Rhythms
They run in parallel lines
Many lines which seem to lead nowhere
Have you discovered the truth?

Yours is a mighty calling
To thine own self be true
Thus shall you find the inner workings of your soul
That which brings you truth and revelation of life

The answer is found
So open your soul
Allow God's presence to heal
A healing balm that rejuvenates the broken in spirit
But yet delivers the mind.

--Oluwakemi

Words of Wisdom.....

I enjoy tidbits of wisdom that cause me to reflect upon and seek to improve my life. Below are trinkets of wisdom I found along my journey in life. I don't remember who wrote them or where I found them but hope they'll inspire you as they have me.....enjoy!

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Think Differently to Change Your Life

Dear Child--Exercise your right to think differently. Do not get caught or stay in old patterns. To change your life, you need to change the way you think.

Hold not onto the past. Instead hold the thought of what you wish to become. See that image. Feel that image. Be that image and your life will change.

Release your fear, release your doubts, release your pain, release your old thoughts to make room for who you want to become.

All is well, Child of God.

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Don't Worry

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ---Phillippians 4:6-7

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Patience

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."--Jean Jacques Rousseau

Today--Remain patient; your reward is much greater only if you hold on and see this thing through; stop being so moody, pushy and rushy; wait, your change is coming; the Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him; don't stand around twiddling your thumbs while you're waiting, find something progressive to do; wait I say, wait and have patience!

--Oluwakemi